My thoughts for this evening

SICK

Published on July 5, 2007 By majicalillusion In Personal Relationships

of fake people, and people who say they are your friends then at the same time they act like they understand where you are coming from and then turn around and are stabbing you in the back.

I miss my two best friends back home. Even when I did things they didn't agree with they told me. I miss being able to agree to disagree and knowing exactly where I stood with them.

I now remember why I started to seclude myself. Then along came David and I opened my heart to him and people all over again. And as time goes on I wish I wasn't such a caring person. I wish I were more like David .. or like he says he is, and that I just didn't give a fuck. I think its time to turn the switch to off, no one else cares so really... why the hell should I?

Comments

majicalillusion

on Jul 06, 2007

No, not that I know of. He doesn't know of this blog.

Well, I made the HUGE mistake to get rid of Zoey's ghost to make friends with her. HA! Then I found that I was upset and talking to her on the phone and at the same time she and David was shit talking me at the SAME time. funny.. It amazes me the stupid choices and mistakes I make.

I figured if she was going to be a damn ghost all this time.. that I was going to make new memories for him including me. Well.. I guess that was a big mistake.

majicalillusion

on Jul 07, 2007

Well he does know that I'm talking to you. Of course he has asked me why and I just told him because I am. I too don't like to keep secrets from my husband. As he tells me though, people need their privacy and what we talk about will be one of those things I chose to keep private. I won't lie to him and say I'm not talking to you. He talks to people all the time and doesn't tell me things. I've had to keep a secret from him about a close friend of ours and Zoey. If he knew the secret he would be Malice.. true to form and exploit what he knew and use it to make fun of our friend in what he would think was funny. I'm learning there are just some things I can't tell him, because of who he is. Its sad I've had to learn the hard way.

As we know I tend to be a very open person and love the open honesty one should be able to have with there wife/husband, but.. with my husband.. I have to be really careful because he'll cut anyone to the bone at any given moment.

majicalillusion

on Jul 08, 2007

Oh he 'cut' neither of us, trust me on that. It barely caused a ripple in our marriage.

I didn't mean you two when I said that. I ment people in general. He seems to think its so funny to rip at people and they shouldn't get upset. Sometimes, me included.

I know he has a different side to him. That was the David I first got to know. Then he got hurt a couple of times while his guard was down and decided he was getting to soft, so up went the wall again. He just needs to find away to let me in. I'm not the one who is hurting him. By him being so closed he's killing "us". But, I'm trying to work through that with him. Don't mistake me, I DO love him. I just certainly hasn't been an easy road. I guess marriage isn't always easy though. I have faith in him that things will get better with us, but how he choses to react with others, that I'll never know.

I do think he's something special, but I feel emotionally he's got some growing to do.

Oh.. and no he doesn't have my password to my gmail. And... I pop into voodoo from time to time but very rarely. Hell I even had to register my name again last time. lol

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