His father will support him with none of that. He picks on him because of the way he dresses. He picks on him because he's a sissy

At this age, a father is more suited to handle him. Talk to your Ex and ask him to be more understanding and guide his son in the right direction with reason and compassion. and talk to your son and tell him that he needs his father and should listen to him but should also talk to his father about what is on his mind. communication is the key here. wish all of you the best.

At this age, a father is more suited to handle him. Talk to your Ex and ask him to be more understanding and guide his son in the right direction with reason and compassion. and talk to your son and tell him that he needs his father and should listen to him but should also talk to his father about what is on his mind. communication is the key here. wish all of you the best

I in some ways think a father would be best for him right now. The only problem I see there is he's too controlling and doesn't give Steven enough rope to start learning some responsibility. I mean just this year he learned how to use a lawnmower because his father would never let him mow the lawn. Maybe he's just over protective? Maybe. I've had many conversations with my ex, many times I'm told he doesn't want to hear it and I'm not there so I shouldn't say anything. I may have left, but I'm still his mother and I still love my children. I also try to get him to remember what it was like to be a teenager and how mixed up you can feel. I'm not sure my ex ever felt that way though.

I question the wisdom of letting this young man make the decision as to where he wants to live in the first place. He seems torn, and likely to bounce back and forth, heading to the other household whenever things get too heated in the one he's at. This isn't a good habit to encourage. As much as I know you want to spend time with him, he has to learn to face his problems head on, and that includes the issues he has with his father.

I only consider this the first time he lived with me. The first time his father said OK was over summer break, which they are with me anyway, and then Steven went back home like they usually do after summer break. He also won't be comming back to live here. I've told him that. He hurts everyone when he does this, not just me and my household, but all his family and friends up north. I've heard him say, as far as his relationship with his father, well if this doesn't work out, maybe this will make me stronger. I hope whatever he has planned works out for him. He knows I'm always here to listen, but he's also very close to my mother and my ex's mother, so I know he's got a support system.

There are plenty of support groups for gay/bi/lesbian teenagers, many of them meet right on the school grounds (much to the disgust of a lot of parental units) and at 15, your son is old enough to start seeking ways and means outside of the home wherein his needs can be met. This is all part of growing up and developing a little independence

I will tell him about the support group at his school. When he was here I did take him to the mental health place because he wrote me a suicide note. Scared the shit out of me. Of course they told me to take him to the emergency one way down south. We went and did nothing for him because he said he wasn't suicidal, that it was a mistake that he wrote that note to me. I remember having those feelings when I was his age, I pray they are just feelings, and like me he'll never act on them. Though, I think he needs to go seek help to figure out why he feels that way.

In regards to the cutting...don't you and Malice engage in the same sort of behavior? I was pretty sure you did, but I could be mistaken...

No, we do not. I think you are thinking of the first days I was with him. It happened then and only then. I've never been cut. We've been togehter 5 years and its never happened again. That is something that Steven doesn't even know about. It actually goes with this "emo" faze he associates himself with. I know back when I was younger there were goths, but now there are so many clicks n groups... geesh I also know if someone cut they didn't usually tell anyone. With this "emo" stuff they cut, then they'll post pictures back and forth to each other. Also people cut to escape the feelings they can't deal with, a release and something else to focus on. I've tried to talk to him about why did he cut, why would he again, and well, I'm mom, he doesn't tell me.

This going through teenage years with Steven has been hard on me too. Steven and I have always been able to talk about ANYTHING. He will now look at me and just go, mom I don't want to talk about it. Like I don't have any answers why he's really moving. He'll just look at me and say "mom, it has nothing to do with you, you did nothing wrong, but I don't want to talk about it." I didn't think I'd ever hear that from him, especially Steven.

Sounds pretty normal to me, lol. He'll come back to ya in his mid 20s. Most teenagers DON'T talk to their parents about intimate feelings, hell, some refuse to even be seen with 'em in public! I'm sure parents of other teenagers can testify to this, Angela. It's nothing you've done, it's just what happens as they grow up, so believe him when he tells you it isn't your fault.

Oh, I remember, I didn't talk to my mom about much of anything. Now I know how that must have hurt here, but I couldn't trust her either. I did tell my grandmother everything though. So now the tables have turned. I now have a son, and he talks to my mom. I do know its normal for teenagers not to talk to their parents, I just wasn't ready for it. I thought I did a good job keeping the gates of communication open, but I guess its weird for him now, or he doesn't want to worry me. But, I know he knows that he can come to for anything, and he knows I do mean ANYTHING, thats all I can do right now.

Just an update. Steven left Sunday and made it home ok. Can you believe they knew all this time that he was going to be home and they didn't even get his bed out of the garage and put it in his room. I think that would've been the FIRST and FOREMOST thing I would do to prepare for my son coming back home.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this, and whilst this probably isn't the best place to tell you this I can't let it go.  It's 'phase', not 'faze'.

phase 
n.  

1. A distinct stage of development: "The American occupation of Japan fell into three successive phases" (Edwin O. Reischauer).
2. A temporary manner, attitude, or pattern of behavior: just a passing phase.
3. An aspect; a part: every phase of the operation.

faze 

I appreciate your comment I am a horrible speller. I always have been. I do try to correct myself. At the time when I wrote this I was at work and on lunch break and didn't have the time to do a spell check. If you read more of my stuff I'm sure you'll have loads of fun finding errors. I do believe I'm educated, but that has always been one of my weak points. Guess that's why I usually stay away from writing. Funny thing is I was a typesetter in my previous job. If I reread stuff I can usually point out errors, but if I'm just typing something out really fast just to get it down and out of my head, oh goodness, LOOK OUT!